Me At My Rawest Form: No Censors

I don’t even know where I am going to go with this but I felt inspired to just let my fingers run away from me. I am going to apologize ahead of time if I should happen to offend anyone in the creation of this blog post; I really just needed this release. WARNING: this will most likely end up highly scatter-brained.

I have recently adopted the phrase “relationships are for suckers” as my personal mantra and I don’t think this is going to change anytime soon. I was like every other little girl growing up with the dreams of getting married and having kids and… yeah, that’s all in the past. I have gotten so sick of the male race that I am surprised I still can befriend them. What I hate even more than the male race is the male race that have no fucking idea what they want to do with their lives and can’t make up their damn minds. I don’t give a fuck! Age is no longer a viable excuse to act the way you do.

Once you reach a certain point in your life you should know what is wrong and what is right. You should know when you’re treating someone horribly and when confronted, I don’t want to hear a sob story or hear you flip out because I confronted you with the truth of you being an insane asshole. Man up! Accept the fact that you aren’t the most amazing thing created on the face of this planet and that it is possible for you to be at fault.

Oh, and stop playing games! That goes out to every person on the fucking earth. I don’t understand when it became okay for you to play with a person’s heart, for you to lead them on. I don’t get when it’s okay to use someone because you know they care so damn much for you that they are willing to do anything for you.

I know I can be a bitch… and I mean a huge bitch but that doesn’t make it okay for you to treat me like shit. What some people don’t know about me is that I would give the shirt off my back to help anyone out that I really care about and because I care so much about you, I deny the fact that you would ever use my kindness to your advantage. I’m over that. I realize now that you will never care about me as much as I do about you and I deserve more than that. I deserve more than you so thank you for the life lesson and sending me into more of a bitter state. I’m about to write off all guys and I didn’t even start yet.

Honesty. What the fuck ever happened to honesty? Yea, I hate getting hurt… I really do but if you have a problem with me, come to me and talk about it. Don’t go back to my friends and talk shit. Come to me about it. ANDDDD don’t feel like you have to be my friend to just keep me happy. If you feel some type of away, kindly talk to me about it and then get the fuck out of my life. People like that only bring me down and sometimes I really wish there was a way to completely erase people out of your memory. I also wish there was some sort of button that you could push that would erase all emotion. Fuck the people that say “feeling lets me know that I’m alive”! If feeling is going to end up making me miserable for the rest of my life I’d rather be numb to everything… happiness, sadness, anger… I don’t want it. And if I didn’t have emotion, it would be that much easier for me to just push everything off with a shrug. I like the thought of that because, in my opinion, man’s own downfall is the fact that he can think. I hate when I think.

So basically… I hate guys, all guys… well… except for the gay ones so far. And yes, I hate to break it to you but you all are the same. You all piss me off the same and I am honestly still waiting for one of you to prove me wrong but I don’t see this happening at all. All of you people in relationships, I applaud you and wish you all the happiness in the world. However, I’ve been single for over 20 years and I am starting to see why this is. I am starting to appreciate single-dom that much more. Thank you mother for showing me the light years ago before I even knew the whole complexities that are feelings and caring for another human being. Thank you for making me an insanely strong individual because if I ended up being one of these attention craving whores that feel like they need a guy on their arm to survive, I think I would have given up on a life filled with utter disappointment.

Whew… I think I feel better now.

BARB!EK!LLER